Over the years, I have had many conversations with our girls that left a bigger impact on me than it may have on them. I love our daily exchanges but only a few hang with with me year after year. Last night my oldest and I were able to slow down for a bit and have some loose conversation over a cup of coffee. Okay, I had the coffee. We talked about labels and the boxes we put people in. Seriously, I love her perspective so much I have to share it.
She asked what I thought about lables. Honestly, I don’t like them. I think they put people in this giant category removing all uniqueness and set people up for instant judgement. Labels are a negative to me. I asked her what she thought of them. Her reply? “I don’t like labels but I like boxes.”
Dumbfounded, my only reply was “boxes”? I was so caught off gaurd, it took everything I had not to laugh when I said it. In general, I don’t laugh when my kids are being semi-serious.
Her explanation was simple. The first thing people will learn about her is her name. It’s posted on the side of her “box”. As they get to know her (if she allows and they want to) they get to learn the contents of her box. The contents are a hodge-podge of ADD/ADHD, dyslexia and dygraphia. Those are the labels the doctor gave her. They rattle around in her box every once in a while becoming an annoyance. The labels only explain her struggles but not who she is. I asked her what she perceives is in her box.
- Books. She loves books. The longer the better.
-Love of piano. She don’t care if it is listening or playing. She loves it just as much she enjoys learning as much as she can about famous composers.
- Her love for jazz, blues, UK folk music and anything folk/ alternative type band. The needs to feel the voice as much as the music.
-Art. She loves to draw. She is working on exploring and maturing her drawing skills. She is getting quite good I may add.
- God. She loves The Lord with her whole heart and thrives enjoys her girls bible study each week. She loves their fellowship.
- Mindcraft. She is a geek for Mindcraft and proud of it.
- She loves to write songs, poems and stories.
-Her unique fashion. She loves fedora hats and you rarely see her without one. (or one of her many plaid shirts or her skinny jeans and boots! haha!) She loves playing with her fashion. She likes to make a statement that she isn’t like the other girls.
-education. She has FINALLY taken an interest in her education and exploring her interests.
Her box is pretty cool if you ask me. She is growing up so fast and becoming this confidant young woman. She is very sociable while around people but craves her introverted tendancies. She is becoming choosy with her friends and who she allows around her. I am glad she feels strong enough to do that. Her biggest pet peeve is bossiness and I notice that those who get overly bossy with her get pushed away. I don’t discourage it. Up to this point she has always been very passive so I love seeing her become more assertive. She avoids cliques and the dramatic girls. She has her focus and knows what she wants.
She is full of insight and creativeness. I am so proud of who she is becoming. She has crossed into the logic stage of the classical continuam.
Our conversation makes me think of my own box, and the boxes of those around me. One thing she said hit a chord. Not everyone sees what is in her box. They may know it exists but she won’t let them see it if she does not trust them. Others may only see pieces. She feels that at this girls are one of 2 ways. Judgmental or copycats. She wants no part of either, so she gaurds her box until she feels she can trust them. I wanna be her when I grow up :)
* In case your worried, I ALWAYS have permission if I speak about the girls. I don’t want to invade their privacy.